Finding Calm in the Chaos
Psychosynthesis is my blueprint to uncovering the CALM in the chaos. It provides a way to observe the natural ebb and flow of life’s challenges without hooking and getting stuck in the tornado.
I used to buzz. I lived most of my 35 years on this planet in this frenetic energy, completely and utterly identified to my anxiety, activation, worry, perfectionism, duties as a daughter, mom, wife, employee, woman.
ANXIOUS. BUSY. GOING. DOING. Being in the world this way was my normal.
I was constantly on alert, waiting for something bad to happen, worrying about being late or not finishing a task perfectly, scrambling to check things off my to-do list and concerned about doing something wrong, making mistakes or worse, making someone mad at me.
I knew I was stressed. It was how I identified in the world. Oh, I have anxiety. I am a perfectionist.
I always wanted to feel CALM, but busy and anxious was all I knew.
When we live so much of our lives identified with our thinking, dysregulated, stressed out, and ignoring our authentic voice, gut feelings and real needs and desires, it is very challenging to shift that relationship because those reactions, behaviors, and programing have been embodied in our nervous system and body for so long.
Being in the world in this activated way became my resting state. I embodied my STRESS and my ANXIETY. I spiraled in my thinking. It was my habituated way to live and breathe.
I wanted to feel CALM. I really did. I got upset that I was anxious and stressed all the time. I ruminated that I couldn’t “fix it”. I stressed more and the thoughts totally took over. It was a cycle.
I was the opposite of calm all of the time.
When I discovered Psychosynthesis, something really magical happened. Things shifted. Dramatically. I immediately had a concrete framework and various tools to excavate a sense of CALM, whenever I needed it. I found a way to live differently, with much more ease and grace.
Psychosynthesis taught me about how to be present in the world and with myself. By expanding my awareness and observing, I now had choice. A choice to senseCALM, to cultivate CALM in my life.
We can’t change anything if we are not aware we have a choice in the first place.
I started to notice what CALM felt like in my body. I thought about the places and environments in my life where I can feel even a small sense of CALMNESS. I identified the people who I know living connected to a state of CALM.
I started to notice when I was overthinking or spiraling, and chose instead to invite in small moments of CALM by…
-stepping outside to take a breath.
-noticing my son’s curiosity as we read a bedtime story together.
-taking a glimpse at the full moon lighting up the sky.
-pausing before reacting.
-saying goodbye to my husband for the day by making intentional eye contact.
A funny thing slowly started to happen. These small moments of CALM started to turn into multiple moments throughout each day, which then turned into longer chunks of time.This shift in orientation allowed me to begin to live in the world differently, where CALM, SETTLED and AWARE became my resting states.
Now this was not easy and the shift did not happen overnight, BUT, by giving myself these opportunities of practicing and truly sensing CALM in my being and in my body, I began to build new neural pathways and break my conditioned state of living in anxiety.
Thank you psychosynthesis.
With the holidays unfolding, it is easy to get swept up in the fullness and busy. I have put up the word CALM in various places around my house and office as a reminder to pause to connect with that CALMNESS within.
What does it feel like when you are CALM? Where do you notice it in your body? Where and when are you most CALM?
Small moments of awareness and intention can contribute to a major shift in how we carry ourselves and negotiate the unfolding and the challenges. How do you find your CALM in the chaos?